Avoid self-help opportunists - Save your money

New year. Save your money. A mental health reminder. A new year, a new start.

Save your money - Do the simple stuff first

I’ve heard this conversation from other people’s mouths and my own brain for so many years. The truth is, nothing really changes for most people. Initially they do.  People start with a sense of urgency. Determined to find what their true purpose is. Ending that relationship. Starting that creative task they have been putting off for so long. Some even spend hundreds and thousands of pounds on that thing that they think will make them finally be happy. And this is my gripe, so this is me starting the year attacking self-help opportunism. I have been on social media as a business since I started and I notice a pattern emerge every January, every year. Social media opportunists know that you are not happy with something in your life. They know how the public operate and how they think. They also know that you are feeling pretty low and miserable because of the way things have been and you’re looking to change. Also, January sucks. And they’re looking for your money – “Please buy my online personal development course”. They don’t care about you. They pretend they do. But they don’t. They’ll post something wholesome and meaningful. Maybe a photo of themselves looking dishevelled and tired which was contrived and not naturally taken because, who takes a photo of themselves when they feel terrible, and come up with an opening line like “My life changed when I did this” or some other bullshit. The simple and unglamourous truth is – you don’t need to make massive changes. You certainly don’t need to give your hard earned money to someone to make you feel better. What you need to do is the boring stuff for positive mental health. Bigger isn’t always better Let’s start with a few home truths. Maybe you’re not feeling particularly good at the moment. That’s ok.  Every single human being in the history of the planet and civilization has felt crap from time to time. People pretend to be ok when they’re not. But is the reason you are feeling so crap down to you?  Be honest. Are you contributing to your own misery and general malaise? If you are answering no to that question whilst holding a games console controller and reading this at 3am in the morning, I would beg to differ. Actually, nobody is reading this, let alone at 3am. The same example applies if you have just finished your bottle of wine in the space of thirty minutes whilst scrolling through TikTok. My point is, is that the majority of negative thoughts, actions and feelings often stem from contributing behaviours. Start small. Don’t rush to your banking app to pay some ‘guru’ to make everything better. Start small. Tiny, little changes. You know what I’m referring to.  You’ve heard this so many times before, but the fact is, people like to blame external factors for their misery rather than looking in the mirror and being really honest with themselves. They pay someone a fortune to tell them that it’s not them and they are the victim of circumstance or toxic people in their immediate circle. Admittedly, you can be a victim of these factors, but how you react to circumstance, life events or toxicity is something we can manage better if our proverbial house is in order. I shouldn’t have to spell this out, and this is probably going to be very condescending but here we go: Move more Sleep more Drink less (Alcohol) Eat less (Crap) Speak to family and friends Avoid terrible people If you do this, bit by bit, you will feel better. If any of those things are a surprise to you, you need to get out more or start paying attention. Notice I didn’t write, drink no alcohol or eat no crap food. Because if you did this straight away, you will be even more miserable than what you are maybe feeling like now. It is a gradual process.  You don’t need to eradicate everything out of your life that you find enjoyment in because you’ll end up being really bored with life and someone to be avoided. So don’t pay some fake face on a screen, who doesn’t care about you at all, all of your money to tell you how your life will be magical, wonderful and transcendent if you give them all of your cash you need to pay your rent or mortgage. Just start small, keep it simple and go from there. Till next time. Dan